Dragons Part 6

This is another special installment on dragons. You know, with all the crap floating like debris in the cesspool of internet junk and crap, it was only a matter of time before terrible renditions and inaccurate pictures of dragons began to surface amidst the flotsam and jetsam. Today, I'm going examine some of these pictures and pretty much tell you why they suck so bad. No one is safe, not today. I'm pissed.



Fig #1: "Jurassic Park Bat-Thing" Look at this, it looks like something you'll see in Jurassic Park 5. Dragons NEVER have three claws, and a wing ligament connecting the hand to the shoulder would make it impossible to ever fully extend in flight. And also, what kind of pose is this? If this is what it looks like when dragons try to run then I hate them.






Fig #2: "Fifth-Grader-Sucky-Terrible-Artist Dragon" This is one of the most effing embarrassing things to happen to the dragon world since Bowser from Super Mario.





Fig #3: "Hieroglyphic Piece of Sh--" Well, it seems not even the Egyptians had a clue about dragons. Even though this carving comes from the tomb of Hatshepsut (1508–1458 BC), it still looks like they crossed Legolas with and anaconda and then threw some wings on it. Doesn't work that way. And then there's that guy on the left wearing a shawl, trying to like stab Legolas-anaconda-angel with a flower or something. Weird.



Fig #4: "Sock Puppet Dragon" Whatever pre-schooler is responsible for this gets a big effing timeout, for eternity.







Fig #5: "Ming Dynasty Flying-Old-Man-Bird-Owl-Thing" Remember how I said no one was safe, I meant it. And not even the Chinese are safe today. This really sucks. I mean, really, this is bad. If I saw this dragon flying in mid-air I would throw up.




So there you have it. This is the tip of the iceberg that floats in the cesspool of internet garbage relating to dragons. Hope it was informative.